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27 February 打壁球也有几年历史了,虽然都是三天打鱼两天晒网,甚至是三天都晒网,不过还是对这个有些人觉得无聊巴巴的运动保持着很高的热情。壁球历史本来就不长,但也有100多年了,传说就是由极无聊的贵族学生对着墙壁打球发明的,而因为声音相像,所以名为squash(我还没有琢磨出来为什么)。 刚开始打壁球是大一,当时广州的壁球馆屈指可数,当然河南的熹祥是最多人最受欢迎的,虽然条件简陋但因为价格相宜却成为大学时期经常光顾的地方。只是可惜当时教我入门的哥们现在要么是基本放弃这个发泄性很强的活动,要么基本放弃和同性动物打球的冲动转去骗女朋友了,所以慢慢也就荒废下来。 去年在印度的时候,一个匈牙利哥们,冥想和瑜珈的忠实支持者在sector 23的瑜珈中心发现了一块壁球场,我一听来劲了,马上又威逼利诱他一起去打球。一打就上瘾,便有了那两个月每天6点起床去打球的欢快时光。可惜印度人都喜欢早起,在我们准备摩拳擦掌大打的时候被可恶的印度阿叔说我们没有交钱驱逐出境,要去正规的场地又贵又远,因为印度的俱乐部都是终身会员制,每人交几万人民币就随便打打到你死为止,后来便渐渐放下了。匈牙利朋友走了以后,我便以找不到球伴放弃了壁球,其实还是因为早上6点起床实在太变态,回来洗个澡又睡个回龙觉基本上班就迟到了。 回国以后发现广州打壁球的地方渐渐多了起来,而且价格尚算可以接受,于是决定继续找面墙让我发泄去,哈哈
25 February 早上拿几双绝版鞋子给石主任,于是随口挑逗一下他约去香港买正装和iPod,说到后来我威逼利诱地对他说:就当去散散心咯。他一句过来:你还没散够心?不是应该要收心了吗?
石主任,你讲得太对了!下周起,告别啃老,工作减肥跳舞!Baila conmigo!
表哥说三月份来京城,带你去天上人间,马上吓瘫,传说中的天上人间难道就这样被征服?我的心啊,麻烦你自己收回来吧,不要再跑来跑去了
20 February
左一女于背景男有那么一点相像
好学
很喜欢这些被小鸟围困的十二生肖
最后让自己小出个镜
在印度,Justin走之前说:我们台湾有一部很有名的“国片”,是全台湾的骄傲哦!于是他把海角七号给我了,可是从印度走到尼泊尔,从尼泊尔走到西藏,从西藏走到广东,我始终碰都没碰那部尘封的电影。 终于,我熬到了它内地上映的时候,于是找了个安静的上午,一个人静静把它看完。不错,如果我是一个台湾人,我会挺自豪的。怎么台湾就那么多人会说日语呢? 16 February 在 单位上,用英语来解释草泥马是何种物种是一件很大快人心的事,看完以后狂笑不已,所以现在转载出来和大家同乐 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meet the Grass Mud Horse (草泥马), a rare animal that has become phenomenally popular in the past month.
The animal, whose name sounds like a common curse (操你妈),
is the most famous of the Ten Legendary Beasts of Baidu, non-existent
animals that were inserted into Baidu's user-editable encyclopedia.
Although the majority are juvenile puns for curse words or genitalia,
the collective editing process did manage to come up with a few clever
descriptions.
Here are the rest:
- The Dafei Chicken (达菲鸡): A strange bird that likes exercise. (打飞机, slang for "masturbate")
- The Chrysanthemum Silkworm (菊花蚕): A silkwork that feeds on chrysanthemum flowers instead of mulberry leaves. (菊花残, an insult that means something like "bugger")
- The Midge Butterfly (雅蠛蝶): An exceedingly rare creature only found on the Tibetan plateau. (From やめて, Japanese for "stop it"; via imported porn)
- The Weishen Whale (尾申鲸): During his maritime adventures, Zheng He discovered this creature was hunted as the raw materials for women's underpants. (卫生巾, "sanitary napkin")
- The Jiba Cat (吉跋猫):
A creature that lives in a dark, damp environment and competes for food
with the White Tiger. According to historical records, the Jiba Cat
flourished during the reign of the Zhengde Emperor. (鸡巴毛, slang for "pubic hair")
- The Qianlie Crab (潜烈蟹): A legendary crab that once stopped up the Grand Canal. (From 前列腺, "prostate")
- The Crying Paddy Goose (吟稻雁):
In the Kangxi era, a large goose dove into a certain field, damaging it
and causing the local farmers to come down with a strange sickness.
(From 阴道炎, "vaginitis")
- The Franco-Croatian Squid (法克鱿,
scientific name "Vai-te Foder"): A fierce species of squid originally
inhabiting Europe and the Americas. (From the English-language curse
"Fuck you")
- The Puremen (鹑鸽): A rare bird found only in Sichuan and Hunan; formerly found in the area that is now the Republic of Yemen. (From 春哥,
a nickname used for Super Girl winner Li Yuchun among fans who claim,
whether sincerely or ironically, that she's a man. Their catchphrase is
春哥纯爷们, "Brother Chun is all man", which is where Yemen comes in)
And finally, in a nod to the editors of the encyclopedia, there's the Stork-Cat Ape (鹳狸猿) that inhabits Baidu County in Lanzhou. This entry pokes fun at Baidu administrators (管理员) who continually spar with the online pranksters and who ultimately deleted all of these entries.
Although the Ten Legendary Beasts have been wiped from Baidu, the
Grass Mud Horse lives on in Photoshopped images (the cute cousin to the
Alpaca turned up at the CCTV fire) and videos.
Here's the "Song of the Grass Mud Horse," a spot-on parody of a contemporary children's songs:
For lyrics and analysis, see China Digital Times.
Another clever parody uses the familiar format of Animal World (动物世界), a popular CCTV program, to introduce the Grass Dirt Horse and its habitat.
But fun with Baidupedia is not entirely about dirty words. For a
different level of satire, check out the now-deleted entry for
revolutionary hero Wei Guangzheng (伟光正, taken from 伟大, 光荣, 正确, "great,
glorious, correct"):
Wei Guangzheng
Comrade Wei Guangzheng is a superior product of natural selection.
In the course of competition for survival, because of certain unmatched
qualities of his genetic makeup, he has a great ability to survive and
reproduce, and hence Wei Guangzheng represents the most advanced state
of species evolution.
Here is the evolution of Wei Guangzheng's thinking: Since the day of
his birth, comrade Wei Guangzheng established a guiding ideology for
the people's benefit, and in the course of connecting it with the real
circumstances of his beloved Sun Kingdom, a process of repeated
comparisons that involved the twists and turns of campaigns of
encirclement and suppression, his ideology finally realized a historic
leap forward and generated two major theoretic achievements. The first
great theoretic leap was the idea of leading a handful of people to
take up arms to cause trouble, rebellion, and revolution in order to
build a brave new world, and to successfully seize power. This was the
"spear ideology." The second great theoretic leap was a theory, with
Sun Kingdom characteristics, in which Wei Guangzheng was unswervingly
upheld as leader and the people were forever prevented from standing
up. This was the "shield theory." Under the guidance of these two great
theoretic achievements, comrade Wei Guangzheng won victory after
victory. Practice has proven, "Without Wei Guangzheng, there would be
no Sun Kingdom." Following the road of comrade Wei Guangzheng was the
choice of the people of the Sun Kingdom and an inevitable trend of
historical development.
Comrade Wei Guangzheng endured a bitter struggle for survival. In
his struggles with natural conditions, he climbed mountains and trudged
through plains, expressing with an iron will a legendary story of
pathos that continues to impress his posterity. In struggles with
heterogeneous individuals, he engaged in a long-term fight with the
reactionary government of the time and was ultimately triumphant. In
his struggles with individuals in his own group, he cast out the cow
devils and snake spirits that organized internal reactionary activity,
and dealt them harsh punishment. This is the reason why comrade Wei
Guangzheng could continue to survive: he fit perfectly with the three
main factors of natural selection.
In the harmonious environment that comrade Wei Guangzheng himself
constructed, mates were plentiful and there were no natural enemies, so
Wei Guangzhengs could multiply quickly. Their numbers swiftly
increased. Today, Wei Guangzhengs inherit the advantages of their Wei
Guangzheng ancestors, and also attempt various innovations. For
example, many Wei Guangzhengs use their unmatched power to amass money,
setting records that are continually broken. Of course, evolutionary
principles mean that there is also mutation, as when, following his
leadership of a handful of people to take up arms to cause trouble,
rebellion, and revolution and to seize power, Wei Guangzheng began to
detest "a handful of people"....
The reason for this mutation may be due to errors in genetic
transmission during the period of the second leap of Wei Guangzheng
Thought. It is said that mutation frequently causes cells to function
improperly or even die, or could lead to cancer. Yet at the same time,
mutation is a motivating factor for the evolution of species: sudden
changes that are less than ideal will be naturally discarded, while
beneficial changes will accumulate. In this way, we see that mutations
directly affect the evolutionary direction of Wei Guangzheng.
Update: Our friends from the World of Warcraft boards on Baidu's BBS have stopped by for a visit (草泥马被国外知名媒体报道 WOW吧名扬海外了).
Links and Sources
15 February 今日,忙。晨,回校,途遇雨。石主任迟到,与之周游于校内,美女鲜见,失望。饭堂巧遇王天天,得蹭午饭一顿,暗爽。互换八卦若干,奔天河而去。至石主任办公处,耽误时间良久,赶与金沙湾会合方妍。此行目的有二,其一保护方妍,其二物色大龄美女若干以其发展,未遂。美女者,少之又少,猛禽者触目皆是,仰天长叹,誓叫英雄折腰于侏罗纪公园乎?
未敢久留,乘车返往天河,抬望眼,人流不息,车流不断,惧。与四美女宴于中式小餐馆,人稀,菜鲜味,尽欢。晚饮与养蚊家,观星爷怀旧影片,欢笑中,情人节灰飞烟灭。
11 February 偶然在DIN的BLOG上看到一篇巨长的贴,内容无非就是女人喜欢的性格测试,里面包含打量女人喜欢的,男人觉得很无聊的题目,下面摘抄几条,让大家把春节吃的东西好好吐吐。 对方的炒饭能力,会影响妳的热情。 (题外音:对方做炒粉的跳过) Yes 8 No 9 妳是个有运动习惯的美人。 (题外音:不是美人的也跳过) Yes 9 No 10 觉得自己的咪咪还不够大。 (题外音:没有咪咪的跳过) Yes 11 No 12 丑男的炒饭能力通常比帅哥好。 (题外音:你只喜欢吃炒粉的跳过) Yes 14 No 15 妳的臀围超过三十六吋。 (题外音:不知道自己臀围的跳过) Yes 23 No 24 妳是个柔软美人,弯下腰的时候,手指可以碰到脚趾头哩。 (直接无语) Yes E No D ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 在阿din的一再要求下,我尝试做了一下,可是真的很对不起,我很想吐,吐完再做吧。要做的话请点击以下链接: http://dindindong.blog.sohu.com/110043625.html 10 February 化油器,电喷,二冲程,四冲程,曲轴,这些词汇充满了我的头脑
今天和赵总长谈,有像遇到知音的感觉,只是自己还需要冷静再冷静,要做一个一言九鼎的人,就一定要在做决定之前仔细分析。
如果决定了留在这里,我的人生又将发生很大的改变了。
冷静...
06 February 所谓酒,于我如圣水一般。我喜欢各种各样的酒,唯独对啤酒不大感冒,一来喝得多会有肚子,二来实在不喜欢那种肚子涨涨经常奔厕所的郁闷。我的好酒不是那种豪放地劈酒,不喝个高下不罢休。独酌的清静,或者三两好友举杯共享好酒的好感更能触动我的心弦,所以我可以毫不夸张的说,能和我喝酒的都是聊得来的好朋友,但是和我劈酒的有90%都只是泛泛之交。 因为印度酒实在太便宜,所以在印度练就的一身好武艺回国还是得以展示一下的,只是忽然发现却没有了那种寒冷星夜,好友们围坐暖炉共饮一瓶烈酒的雅兴,大家醉醺醺说着不着边际的话,做着各种傻动作,人仿佛年轻了好多好多。念及此,我常常会有冲动把千里迢迢带回来的两瓶小酒拿出来把玩,却生怕酒落愁肠化成一泡尿,白做了表情,还被家人责骂。 去年此时,我应该和Vodka Fellowship的同志们站在院子里,呵着白气,拿着小杯VODKA一饮而尽,聊印度人怎么傻怎么疯狂,然后相拥哈哈大笑,爽哉。 酒伴啊,你在哪里?  05 February 不是我想做标题党,实在是这个标题太有创意了。 上世纪70年代,日本仔创造了蒙面超人等等“优秀”的科幻剧,风靡港澳台,可惜内地观众无缘欣赏。受此风头影响,邵氏制作了一部名叫《中国超人》的优秀影片,旨在弘扬中华民族争做超人的决心。受《中国超人》影响,台湾电影界也制作了一些与蒙面超人抗衡的电影电视剧,其中的表表者就是被称做《战神》的-关公大战外星人,誓把中国古代故事和现代科技做一个cross-over。下面开始贴图了:
潮爆的关二哥
有旁白说:豉油碟甘大只UFO,慌死你睇唔到!
迷茫的外星人
关二哥出来吓人啦
背插两条管,难道外星人不适应有氧的环境?
头都批埋你
最后再摆下造型,迷死D粉丝
这么经典的影片真是笑到我嘴都掉了,如果要看有BG音乐的,请点击以下版本,欢迎大家多交流类似题材的影片,华语科幻片万岁! 03 February
小朋友的应节红头结
静的
动的(或者说傻的)
真的bubble fish
那一秒钟,我觉得自己像个芭蕾舞演员(吐)
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